Jeremiah 29:13 KJV "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."

In 2017 I went on another Victory weekend. This time we did it as part of a church member group. It was a difficult time for me as my dad passed away in December 2016, and the weekend concluded on his birthday.

Afterwards we again received a word and this time my word was that God wants me to spend more time with him. To get to know him more intimately.

I remember feeling slightly disappointed. You see, I was hoping for direction. For purpose because I was feeling quite adrift.

Can you relate to that? Receiving something while you were wishing for something else?

I didn’t share my struggle with grief and, in light of being honest, regret, with anyone. I was suppose to be the strong one. The one who shouldn’t cry at funerals, who should comfort and stand strong. Now I recognize that I was prideful. It was no wonder that four months later I had a complete meltdown…

All of a sudden I felt like an orphan with no father and I didn’t have a very close relationship with my mother. The pressures at work became too much along with personal struggles and I felt like I had no one to talk to that could give me sound advice. That no one cared.

But the Lord is ever faithful. He knew that the only way for me to come through all of this would be to get to know Him as my father. That I needed to spend more time with him. That I needed to see him as the lover of my soul. Not distant but very near.

I had to bind the orphan spirit that wanted me to think and feel that I am alone. I had to take feelings of rejection and self-pity to the Lord. For He is our shepherd and he truly does care for us. I had to bind the spirit of rejection, which quite honestly I still struggle with at times although I do identify it more easily now than I had back then, and are better equipped now to chase it away. I had to accept that God wants to spend time with me.

1 Peter 5:7 KJV "casting all your cares upon him; for he careth for you."

Now years later, after going through loss again last year, it is a constant reminder that the Holy Spirit is giving me. Jesus will never leave me nor will he forsake me.

To forsake something or someone, is to give it up permanently. Therefore Jesus says he will not give us up, nor will he give up on us.

Where in your past have you struggled with feelings of abandonment? Or maybe that is a place you are at now? Can you see Jesus in your situation?

I wrote a post on Jesus as our Caring Shepherd last year. If you haven’t read it before, take a look at it here.

Our journey isn’t always easy. There are many bumps in the road. Yet we can always trust in the Lord to see us through. It took me a while in 2017 to pick up the pieces and step into a new relationship with God, just as it took releasing all of my cares in 2025 into the Lord’s hands and trust that the Holy Spirit will intercede on my behalf when I don’t know what to pray.

Proverbs 24:16 KJV "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: But the wicked shall fall into mischief."

Know that you are not alone. Jesus loves you deeply and nothing can separate you from his love. Keep on seeking the Kingdom of God and his righteousness. He will never fail you, or abandon you.

Journeying with you!

Catherina